Ugh!

Yeah, a new category!

This will be where I put all my rants. Hopefully it won’t fill up too fast.

Ok, Its not new news that I absolutely can’t stand my dog. Everyone who knows me, knows that.

It used to be that he was too big and was just a complete annoyance to sweep/scoop up after. Now I have legitimate reasons to hate him.

Here I go…

If Ricardo doesn’t take him for a walk on Saturday morning before we head out, he’ll crap in the house to show he’s mad for not getting a walk. So, of course Ricardo gives in to this “shitty” behavior and has to walk him before we leave the house. It always adds 10 minutes to our travel time.

Another new behavior is eating everything off the counter. This is not a new occurrence for most dog owners, but we’ve had him for almost 6 years and this just started happening in the last 2 months. If I make toast in the morning, which is every morning, and I leave the bread out, he will eat the entire loaf. We eat a ton of bread in our house, so to not have it is such an inconvenience.

We do phantoming in our new neighborhood. “Phantoms” secretly leave goodies and a poem and a picture on your doorstep. Its really fun! So I had little buckets of candy set out to phantom the neighbors. He ate every bit of chocolate in the buckets.

Today I got home from running errands while Nathan was in school. Murphy ( I usually refer to him as Ricardo’s D.A.D, dumb ass dog. He gets really confused when I call him at work and tell him his D.A.D. shit all over the carpet). He had gotten into a bag of candy I had set aside for Ricardo to take to work.  There are now half licked Atomic Fire Balls all over my off white carpet I just spent Sunday morning steam cleaning.

Ricardo also forgets to fill his water bowl, so he drinks out of my toilet. It doesn’t matter what is in it or what week the calendar says (you get my drift) that I’ve forgotten to flush, he drinks out of it. So when I go to use it, there’s usually some sort of dog slobber all over the seat.

So next time I “accidentally” leave something out, it might be 100 oz of dark chocolate, some poinsettias smeared with peanut butter, or I might forget to flush the gallon of Drano I put in the toilet. It will be the last time I come home to smeared Atomic Fireballs all over the carpet.